I have waited a year and a half for this day - The day The Bourne Ultimatum comes out. A fitting conclusion for the film series that kicked the spy genre in the balls and kept on kicking until it keeled over and gave painful birth to the wonderful "Casino Royale."
One of the best things about the Bourne films is the way that Bourne uses whatever random items that are at his disposal to serve his own ends. But unlike Jackie Chan, who does the same thing in a comical fashion, Bourne's ingenuity usually doesn't provoke laughter; it provokes a fear that would shake you to your core if you were a rival henchman/assassin. Here are the top 5 Jason-Bourne-improvised weapons:
1) Hardcover Book - (Bourne Ultimatum)
Update: footage of fight scene found! Here you go:
2) Pen - (Bourne Identity)
Picture this scene: You've lost your memory and you're visiting your posh apartment with a quasi-cute girl. All of a sudden, a trained assassin rappels through the window with an automatic weapon and starts shooting the shit out of everything. What do you do?
If you're like me, you'd cower in a corner and wet yourself, waiting for your inevitable demise. But if you're Jason Bourne, you grab a bic and cram it into the guy's fist. Because nothing says "deadly weapon" like a $.07 bic pen:
(To get to the fight scene, fast forward past the first 7 minutes of this video)
3) Magazine - (Bourne Supremacy)
I never thought I would see a magazine used as a weapon in a fight scene, but Bourne doesn't just use it to beat the guy senseless: He also uses the magazine to blow up the guy's house afterwards. I pray that the real CIA trains our assassins to be this creative.
4) Electrical Cord - (Bourne Supremacy)
5) Vodka - (Bourne Supremacy)
Update: The comments on this post have been great and greatly appreciated. In light of the interest this post has generated, I thought I'd throw up the following:
Honorable mentions - items that Bourne used creatively, but not as actual weapons
Nondescript aerosol can - (Bourne Ultimatum)
So a whole fleet of policemen are after you as you're walking through a crowded marketplace. If you're Bourne, it ain't no problem. Just grab a can off of a table and use that "Contents under pressure" label to your advantage.
Guy's Carcass - (Bourne Identity)
Oscillating Fan and Flashlight - (Bourne Ultimatum)
Towel and candlestick - (Bourne Ultimatum)
From the now-famous fight scene with "asset" Desh, Bourne uses these items to temporarily help him against his Blackbriar super agent nemesis. But honestly, the book was really the most painful of them all; the packed crowd that I saw the film with collectively cringed every time he shoved that thing into Desh's neck. Brutal.
[Update: This post has been mentioned on several sites, including Gorillamask, Digg, Neatorama, and Defamer - Thanks to everyone for visiting! Here are a couple of more clips to get you in the mood for "The Bourne Ultimatum," or if you've already seen it, to remind you how awesome this whole series is:
Bourne takes down consulate rep and hacks his phone:
Bourne Identity Car Chase:
The Bourne Ultimatum, starring Guillermo
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[Note: All photos are from Flickr, via Creative Commons, and link back to their original photo pages]